It's been too long.

I started this blog to document my journey toward eating better, moving more, and living healthier. Yet, just as the blog has turned into nothing, I have done nothing. There are random days I try, but not anything that does any good. I am continually beat up by the way my pants fit, the number on the scale, and the way I feel. I then stuff my face some more because in the moment that I am satisfying my taste buds and filling my stomach, I think it is enough. I think that is the satisfaction that will make me feel better. I think wrong.

I am reading a book called "Made to Crave" written by Lysa Terkeurst, and eight chapters in, I am realizing that my struggle with my weight isn't about my weight. It's about food. This is a battle of self-control. Lysa has pointed out that Jesus gives us freedom and power. The power to overcome, the power of self-control. This won't be by my own doing. This will be the power of Christ in me.

Each chapter has a set of questions to answer, and I've decided to post the questions, and my answers to them, on here. I'll start tomorrow, as tonight I'm just trying to get through the whole book. Then I'm going to re-read, and answer the questions at the end. I'm excited about this journey, but I'm also nervous.

I know that God has a lot in store for me. I know He has a plan, and lately He has been really speaking to me about what I put into my body. I have let my stomach be my king. I have let it rule over me. God sent confirmation to me...and here is how:

I was reminded of the story of Esau and Jacob and the stew. Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of SOUP. Because he'd been hunting and was hungry. Yet, I'm quite certain this guy hadn't gone like a week without a meal or something. It had probably just been since breakfast. So, here he is, hungry from hunting. Instead of telling Jacob no, and making himself something to eat, he agreed. He sold his birthright to satisfy his stomach.

Here's the confirmation part:

In the book I'm reading, Lysa references this same story, and God reminded me that I do arrange my life around food. Like when I'm going somewhere this week that will have treats, I wait a week to start my diet because I don't want to miss out. I am always waiting for the right moment, instead of making the right moment. So, I am going to prayerfully embark on a new outlook about how and what I'm eating. I'm going to pray for God to break the chains of addiction. I'm going to ask Him to help me rely on Him, instead of a bite of something, for comfort, in times of joy, when I'm stressed....always.